Hey kids, autumn’s here. And it is freakin’ coooold.

port⋅fo⋅li⋅o (pôrt-fō’lē-ō’, pōrt-)

1. b. The materials collected in such a case, especially when representative of a person’s work: a photographer’s portfolio; an artist’s portfolio of drawings.

That’s what I’ve been working on in my free time, a portfolio, and as a result, finally realized how *little* I’ve actually done with anything art-related over the last 3 years. It’s like that part of my life slowly died off and paying work kept my brain so preoccupied that… well, hardly noticed until now. It’s kinda sad and dunno if I should mourn the whole thing, let it rest, or try going all Frakenstein with the idea that I still draw.  The point is, this portfolio thing seems more like a memorial to a time long gone than a collection of real, live, active, growing work.

Know what I say to that? Blah. That’s right, blah. Blah blah blah.

On the brighter side, yes – there is a brighter side – the heat in this new apartment is the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced in my few years living solo.

On another brighter side, mysterious flowers were at my desk Friday morning and I picturized them along with spiders, leaves, spicy chicken,  and a yellow teapot on the tiniest stove:

So if you haven’t figured it out by now, got my palm read last week… it was a thanks for helping with some paperwork over the summer. I’ve always wanted someone to help me figure out all these crisscrossing lines on my hands, and she threw in a few card readings too.

And we had beer, Molson, like Prelude. For some reason, I was expecting all shades of negativity and dark, damned future but the overall consensus, according to my left hand at least, was positive.  Positivity has never been a strong point here, and while things change at every crossroad, I found comfort in the prospect of that positivity.

When I got home later that night, decided to write down all she said (that my brain could remember of course)…

Scattered:

• Queen of Ones
• indecisive foundation
• intuition
• wisdom
• 2 marriages
  – relationships, one was very early and ended badly, there will be a huge gap between that one and the next- 5 maybe 10 years – 2nd supposedly lasts forever
• surrounded by children throughout my life =/
  – 2 children will be mine, either by birth or adoption, unclear
• 2 dark haired men, one young and one  older
  – one will be going through a breakup/divorce soon, it’ll be very rough on him but once he’s ready to move on, he may be ready to move on with me, mwaha
  – the other is trustworthy, dependable, though maybe a little boring or unambitious
• light hair, light eyed man who’s been a huge influence, great love is here but it may never be mutual
• fate line shattered
• cross lines – intuition/psychic
• Someone is jealous of my talents or something I possess, envious but not in a vicious way
• will lose something, might not be important, but I didn’t wanna lose it
• loooooong ass life line, irony noted
• again, surrounded by *lots* of children, mostly teens, gross
• travel, all throughout life, especially in later life
• a goal
  – once I decide to do it (see indecisiveness), I will achieve it and great success and happiness will come with it
  – goal can be life changing (see success and happiness)
• as time goes on, I live a happy life that just keeps on gettin’ better, gettin’ better, all the time
• family is not my source of joy (she let this slip after the reading)
• happy childhood, but something went terribly wrong during my teen years so the happiness went away
• some of the cards I got:
  hanged man card
  can’trememberwhichcardbut -> malaise(??) reversed
  knight of pentacles reversed
  – find security
• throughout my whole life, I will have what I need – not necessarily what I want, but always what I need
• all of my “friends” are going to be interested in this dark haired man, whichever and whenever he appears

Mama was sorta like “so, she didn’t tell you anything new then…”  Hah!  Life is whatever you make it, and I strongly believe in that, but it doesn’t make examining or exploring the “mystical” unknowingest parts of life any less fun.

And to wrap things up, a frog playing host to a creepy looking spider in my bathroom: